Did You Ever Say, “He Won’t Let Me”? Who Is Running Your Life?

Charles Uadiale March 24, 2023March 24, 2023 0 Comments

I know what it feels like to grow up in a home being degraded, abused, bossed around, and feeling the deepest desire to run away. Perhaps you’re in a similar situation at home. Or perhaps you used to be.

We cannot blame other people for our personal growth and level of self-acceptance. The only thing you can do is decide exactly what your truth is and stick to it. If there is a person in your life who is not honoring you or who is telling you what to do as if you were a puppet on a tight string, the greatest favor you can do for yourself is to remove yourself from the daily barrage of negativity and get into this process of asking God, your Higher Self, for guidance so that you can reclaim yourself and your life.

I have heard many people, mostly women, who were in marriages or live-in relationships, say, “He won’t let me,” when those women wanted to do something. They allowed another person to literally control their lives, and they obeyed out of conditioned fear.

If this pertains to you, I strongly urge you to do one of the following:

Let the person know that you understand where he or she is coming from and that he or she is entitled to his or her views, opinion, and perspective. Then you can say, “I am the only one who can make my choices for me. I am going to do what I prefer because it is my life. I would certainly give you the same personal freedom to do what you prefer to do in your own life. I do not feel comfortable with your trying to run my life for me as if I were a small child. Therefore, please know that you are entitled to your views, but I am entitled to live my own life the way it suits me, for my happiness.” Then, do what you want to do!

Alternatively, if the other person tries to hurt you in any manner, including threats, intimidation, or verbal or physical abuse, ask yourself how much you enjoy being treated this way. When you feel your truth, take a brave and bold step into your truth and out of the relationship.

Those are your only two options. I have witnessed far too many people who grew up with a lot of abuse and then attracted abusive partners. I have seen these people suffer, and they are still suffering. I can only view them with compassion. They are people I grew up with, and I can no more tell them what to do any more than I can tell you what to do.

We each have to live with our choices, and when we find ourselves miserable, we have to want to get out of the misery more than we want to remain in it.

If someone is physically abusing you, I would guide you to call 911 and allow the police to remove the abuser from your life. There are laws against physical abuse, but perhaps you live in a country where there are not yet laws against domestic violence.

Many people have chosen to leave situations of domestic violence; they simply started over.

The greatest thing I can guide you to do is to write to God and ask for guidance with respect to your own personal circumstance and what you can do now, step by step, one day at a time, so that you can transform a living nightmare into the beautiful life you deserve.

No one has the right to boss you around. But even in America, many people allow themselves to be bossed around.

You can receive help if you ask for it. You can start over and re-create your life from scratch. Many loving people are available in this world to guide you toward the help and resources you need on the physical level while you continue your personal growth and transformation on the emotional and spiritual levels.

For Better Or Worse – Learning How to Deal

There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. Its success is on how well you can overcome all the challenges that will cross your marriage. Dealing with marital problems, most of the time, is complicated and quite annoying. But these are inevitable. And, thus, has to be faced with strength. This is because conflicts and disagreements are parts of any marriage. The best thing a couple can do is to learn how to deal with these issues. And that’s what you will get from this piece of literature.

Here are some helpful ideas on how to deal on marital problems.

Respect each other. This is the key for a peaceful and happy relationship. Without respect, the relationship will go nowhere. Love is an important aspect of marriage but what will really keep the marriage is the respect that you both give to each other. Always interact with each other. Show respect especially, when making important decisions in your marriage. This will surely make your marriage stronger even in the time of disagreements. Your respect with each other will hold the marriage together.
Argue effectively. Argument is an unavoidable thing. It is a part of married life but, even though you can’t avoid arguments, you and your partner should not let it lead to a major misunderstanding. The rule with arguments is to finish it before you and your partner go to bed. You should stick to what you are arguing about to avoid having major conflicts in the end. Find a solution to the problem that causes the argument instead of blaming one another for it. Listen to what your partner has to say. Figure out a win-win solution to be able to satisfy each other. Lastly, avoid having a grudge at your partner just because you didn’t win the argument.
Fix even the smallest conflict. Some couples just let go of the small conflict thinking that it is really nothing. That’s not good. Sometimes, couples end up divorced, not because of the big arguments that happened in their relationship. It’s the little things that piled up that broke them apart. The weight of the small things once stacked, can cause the marriage to crumble. So, giving immediate solution is how to overcome problems like this.
Remember that you are committed to each other. When you got married, you made a bound commitment for better or worse. You should be ready for the changes that might happen once you are already married. Always share everything with each other like your hopes and your dreams. And keep each other on the loop to avoid any miscommunication.
The sex life. Well, most couples undergo certain changes in this department. You should not expect that sex life will always be excellent. There will be highs and lows. You need to learn to cope up with these changes. Try to talk about it and learn new things to spice up your sex life.
Listening is the key. Most couples forget that listening to one another can help solve arguments fast. It is just a matter of always focusing on what your partner is saying to avoid any kind of misunderstanding.

These tips can absolutely help couples, especially those that are in their early years of marriage. Dealing with marital problems is hard stuff but if you will deal with it together, things will be easier and lighter. You should always see things in a lighter tone. There is always a way to solve every problem. And as time passes by, together, you and your partner will learn how to deal with all the problems that will ever arise.

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