Stop Divorce Now

How to Stop Settling in Your Relationship

  1. How can I know or recognize when I am settling in my life?
  2. I feel so scared to make changes, how can I change that?
  3. Why is it so hard to make the moves I know I need to make?
  4. What can I tell myself to make it easier to stop settling in my life?
  5. When I do make the changes I know I need to make, how can I feel safer?
  6. What can help me to never settle again for the rest of my life?


  1. How can I know or recognize when I am settling in my life?

Here is where your feelings are truly your best friend. You will feel dissatisfied and frustrated – a lot! You will feel unhappy with the situation at hand, no matter WHAT area of life it is.

The most important thing here is to HONOR YOUR FEELINGS!!!
If you went outside, and it was 3 degrees, and you were in a bathing suit, I would venture to say that you would feel cold. What that feeling is telling you is to “change” your clothes, to take care of yourself so that you do not catch your death of cold.

This is a simple analogy on the physical level, and of course this translates to the emotional and spiritual level as well.
When you are feeling unhappy in a situation, the ONLY thing you can do is consciously choose to make a change in your life. You must honor how you feel, so that you can come into conscious alignment with what you prefer that is for your highest good.
Many times this translates into feelings within a relationship, or work, among the countless other life circumstances this applies to.

If you are feeling misery, then you MUST choose to communicate your feelings, and either reach a mutually agreeable solution, where you are GENUINELY happy, or get out of the miserable situation.

Avoidance, and going through the motions in life is really placing yourself on a treadmill, and getting nowhere – fast, as well as increasing your low self worth in the process.
It does take guts and courage to express yourself, and follow your truth. This is the ONLY way you can move from misery to joy on all levels of your life.

I do guarantee to you that once you do find the courage, you will feel a positive surge from deep within. That is your indicator that you are following your truth, and you will feel a great deal of inner joy as a result. It is certainly worth the perceived risk – it is, after all, your life.

  1. I feel so scared to make changes, how can I change that?

There is a book title by Susan Jeffers that I love: “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.”

We ALL feel afraid when we are moving out of our comfort (read: miserable) zone.

Feeling fear is a fantastic indicator that you are actually coming into conscious awareness of your dissatisfaction, and are about to DO something about it – so that you can be happy!
All you really need to do is remind yourself that some of the greatest people throughout the course of humanity were also petrified to stand in their truth, and do what they feared most, BECAUSE of their truth – and they did it anyway.

Once you begin to move into your truth, nothing can stop you, and you become a positive force for good in this world. You will begin to emit a higher frequency energy, and look as well as feel more vibrant and alive!

This is well worth the fear that WILL ALWAYS PASS!
Fear is just another emotion. All emotions are transient. Your truth, however, is eternal. Once you stand in your truth, even if you are shaking inside, you set a whole new energy system into action – it is a vastly positive one, and you will begin to be fueled with a much higher energy stemming from your truth, which will help you to take the next step that is facing you.

Just remember that the fear WILL pass, and your life will be so much better, freer, and more alive once you are living according to your highest truth from deep within. It is an example so many people need, and do not underestimate the difference your example can make, as well as how you can reach others because of the courage you had to stand in your truth. It is far more important than standing in your fear (False Evidence Appearing Real.)

Once you make the moves in your actions, be it speech, or physical actions, you will feel SO much better. I can really guarantee this.

  1. Why is it so hard to make the moves I know I need to make?

Because your head (ego) is clinging on to the past as your only “safe” reality, and it is way out of the ego’s domain to move into the now moment – where all truth emanates.

The ego lives in the past or the future. Your Soul, however, is ALWAYS in the now moment, trying to get you to feel what you are feeling so that you can honor your truth, and move higher in your personal evolution.

It appears to be scary. It may feel scary, however, the only “difficulty” is perceived lack on some level, or perceived loss, when in reality (truth) you are moving into winner territory.

By “winner” I mean that you are moving higher. You are getting un-stuck. You are daring to be your best, despite how you feel: (scared.)

The soul knows the rewards by honoring truth. The ego clings to the past, and fears the new future. The ONLY way to go with Soul level wisdom is to move into the now moment, and dare to be real – to yourself. Dare to speak your truth. Dare to follow up in your daily actions, stemming from your truth. This is the only way you can evolve – it is having the self-love to risk being true to self, no matter how scary it may feel.

Once you take the first step, the rest are so much easier! I can guarantee that too.

  1. What can I tell myself to make it easier to stop settling in my life?

Tell yourself that you were born to become your highest expression of Self in this lifetime, and the only way you can be, see, feel, touch and experience your highest expression of Self is when you give yourself permission to do so.

YOU are the ONLY one that can give yourself permission to move into your truth, and follow up in your actions.
No one can do this for you.

Ask yourself if you would like to really experience all that you are? Yes, You would. And you deserve to.

Once you begin to move in this direction, you will feel much more confident with the next steps that are facing you. There is only the need to live one moment at a time. You cannot plan it all out, but you can live and express, as well as follow up in your actions your truth IN THE MOMENT.

This is the moment – it is the only moment you will ever live in after all. You came into this life to thrive, not stifle yourself from thriving. Give yourself permission to thrive, and remember that it is okay to ask for help from people that have been through what you are going through. There are many people that can be examples to help you through your process. Ask for some guidance, and allow yourself to feel what it is like to really live in your truth on all levels. It is SO worth it!

  1. When I do make the changes I know I need to make, how can I feel safer?

The only feeling of “safety” you can have is by staying focused on this moment, and every time your head takes you into the past or the future, pull yourself back into this now moment, and focus instead on what you are doing, and what you are creating, as well as why, and you will feel much better.

It takes conscious effort to pull yourself into now. However, now is really all you have! You are not in your past, or your future. So focus on where you are, and DECIDE what you want to be, do and create in this now moment. That will fill you up with excitement, which will replace any “unsafe” feelings you may have.

  1. What can help me to never settle again for the rest of my life?

Look at the people that were once in your shoes, and found the courage to DO something about it, then, follow their example.
You can either stay in misery, or bring it ALL out into the open, and choose what it is that you want, how you can get there – either solo or with another, and actively move in that direction on all levels.

Your words, thoughts, feelings, and actions have to ALL MATCH.
This way, you are living your truth. Did you come into this life to lie to yourself? No. Did you come into this life to feel on every level the magnificence of your being? Yes, you did.

Your Soul WANTS to thrive. It is up to your free will and choice if you are going to give yourself permission to do so. You are not here to be a victim, or the “fixer”. Your self worth does NOT hinge on your partner, or job, or status, or bank account.

Your self worth hinges only on pure love and truth. If you can be honest with yourself, you can own your truth. Once you own your truth, you can move in that direction on all levels (even if you feel scared to death.)

Your liberation from suffering exists solely and completely in YOUR hands, and there cannot be blame on another for your lot in life. You have the CHOICE to choose to remain in misery, or move into authenticity.

I encourage you to move into your truth, on all levels of your life, and if you need some support, contact me – that’s my job : )

Put yourself on equal footing with the rest of humanity, and stop comparing yourself to others, or worrying about what others are going to think of you. That does not matter. The only thing that matters is that you are living an authentic life, with all of your passion, heart and soul. You do NOT NEED anyone else for this. If you are not receiving what you prefer, and there is no solution at hand, then it is up to you to move the direction of your life into what you DO prefer. Realize that your feelings matter. When you feel REAL, you will have so much more energy, creativity, passion, and you will really feel your sense of purpose, as well as make a difference on our planet.

Did it ever occur to you that you are needed? Did it ever occur to you that as a result of your courage, you can help to change the course of life on Earth for the better? Did you ever think about what you COULD do if you stood in your truth? THAT is what you must keep in mind. We need more examples like you, and do not ever underestimate the difference your example can make. You would not be facing the choices in front of you if there was not a Higher reason for them.

Remember that on a Soul level, your evolution is the sole purpose for coming into this life. Live with Soul, and you will be making much more of a difference than you may realize, not only for you, but for others that will follow in your footsteps.

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